Image provided by: Siuslaw Pioneer Museum; Florence, OR
About The West. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1890-1921 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 14, 1898)
T H E W EST YOUR HOHE PAPER SUPPORT IT . „ „ f ▼ y T-y»— 1 . . -'yr-w . r r- r [ ADVERTISERS 4 ! J SIUSLAW’S ONLY PAPIÉ. < OPPORTUNITY j '$ i C * -Ai A. Jfc=S FLORENCE, OREGON, FRIDAY, Oct. 14, 1898. general directory STATE OFFICERS- TRAVELERS’ GUIDE. TRAVELERS’ GUIDE S T E A M ER “ M I N K , ” O---- Will make;.--------- o lovernor........................W illiam P. Lord. R E G U L A R D A I L Y ecretary of S 'a te ............. H. IL Kincaid, — Between---- treasurer....... ............... P hilip Metclien lupt. Publie Instruction.. ..G. M. Irwin. Itate P rinter.........................W. H. Leeds attorney G eneral........... C. M. Idleman. T R IP S Florence aid Head of Tide. u pre me Court f .............. R. S. Benn 1 ............... F. A. Moore ( , . . . C . E. Wolverton lodge Second D istrict. .J . W. Hamilton ■rosecuting A tto rn e y .. .Geo. M. Brown ORTHERN Pacific, Ry. H. H. Barrett, Prop’r, Leaves Florence Mondays, Wednes days and Fridays. Arrives at Florence Tuesdays Thurs days and Saturdays. Connects with Steamer and Scotts burg Stage Line for Drain. Also with Stage Line for Coos Bay. Charges reasonable. STAGE LINE. * lodge.................................... .E * • . u O. - l Potter. o t' E. Bangs, I . . j ............. W. T. Bai Bailey Joinuussioners X..........II. D. Edwa arils ..........E. U. Lee ;ierk.. W. W . Withers ! IlierilT Elegant treasurer....................... Assessor........................ .. ,D. P. Burton T o u r is t School Superintendent ...W . M. Miller . ...C . M. Collier Coroner.......................... ,W . P. Cheshire j usticc of l’cacc............ .. ,C. II. Holden Proprietor. Dining Cars Sleeping Cars ST. PAUL M IN N E A P O L IS following at 10 a. in. Returning-stage leaves Flor ence on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at 2 p. m., arriving in Eugene the following day at G p. in. FA R Q O TO G RAND FORKS CITY OFFICERS. CRO OKSTON W I N N IP E G H E L E N A anil President.................. W. H. Weatberson BUTTE' THROUGH TICKETS J The F u n k & W agnalls TO C H IC A C O Standard Recorder........................ .John H. Morris W A 3 H I N C T O N treasurer ..............................J . A. Pond P h il a d e l p h ia |Mar»bal........................... G. C. Compton i n e w Y o r k BOSTO N AND SECRET SO CIETIES. A F- A A. M. Florence Lodge No. 107. in> Regular communicfttion on second ENG LISH LANGUAGE ALL COM PLETE P O IN T S E A S T anil S O U T H For information, time cards, maps and tickets ¡«nJ fourth Saturdays in each month. O. W. Hutto, W. M. [ I. G. K sotts , Secretary. R. M Dictionary Of The etc., call on or write I Single fare - - 85.00 Round trip . . - - 89.00 Tickets for sale at F. Bangs’ livery barn, Eugene, and at O. AV. Ilu rd ’s office in Florence. SU C C IE N T Why let your neighbors know it? And why give them • chance to guess you are even five or ten years more? Better give them good reasons for guessing the I other way. It is very easy; for nothing tells of age so | quickly as gray hair. Vigor is • youth-renewer. It hides the age under a luxuriant growth of hair the color of youth. i It never fails to restore color to gray hair. It will stop the hair from coming out also. I It feeds the hair bulbs, i Thin hair becomes thick hair, and short hair becomes long hair. It cleanses the sea ip; re moves all dandruff, and prevents its formation. We have a book on the Hair which we will gladly send you. I f you do not obtain all the bene- I fit» you expected from the uso of tlie i Vigor, write the doctor about It I Probably there 1» some tlW unltv vr'th your general system which ty be easily removed. Address. Ir. J. C. Ayer. Lowell, Mass. A FEW BULLS. E x a m p le , o f V n c o n a c lo i» flu m o r G a th ered F roiu O ld Ir e la n d . The propensity of tlio Irish people to make “ balls” is undoubtedly a deep rooted national characteristic, and it w ill probably be one of their meutal G, A. IL General Lyons Post, No. 58 attributes to tho end of time, or until meets second and fourth Saturdays the race is radically transformed— a of each month at 1:30 p. in. consummation pot to bo wished for in J. I. B utterfield , Commander. The full number of words and terms in ........J. c. FLINT, Proprietor........ different dictionaries for the entire alphabet is deed. This g ift— for there is really J. L. F urnish , Adjutant. something to be prond of in its posses as follows: S^ ormgntii , 50,000; W orchestkr sion— is not, as is commonly supposed F lo r e n c e , O re g o n . 105,000; W ebster (international), 125,000; C e n in England, confined to the lower, or tury , (six volumes. complete,) 225,000: perhaps it would he better to say the 0. U. AV. Perpetua Lodge, No. 131, nnedneated, classes. I t is certainly ■ meets every 1st and 3d Saturdays OUR AIM—To furnish the be STANDARD, over 300,000; more widespread among the humbler eieli month. Members and visiting accommodations at reasouabe , T, T. I folks, bat very often amusing examples brethren in good standing are cordially .Sample Pages Free......... of ¡t come tripping from the hasty I invited to attend. J. .1. A nderson , M.W . prices. AV si . K yle , Recorder. _____ tongues, aud even from the leisurely pens, of educated aud well to do people. In a recent annual report of a benev I 0. O. F. Ifeceta Lodge No. 111, meets acents w a n te d olent society having its headquarters in 1» every Wednesday evening in I<odge Dublin, the following deligbtfnf sen [ Hall, Florence, Oregon. Brothers in W . W . N E E L Y , Prop’r. j tence occurs: “ Notwithstanding the good standing invited to attend. T homas J . B oren , N. G. large amount paid by the society for Tables furnished with all the C has . H . V andekburg , Sec. medical attendance and medicine, very Pacific Coast Agents delicacies of the season. Wild few deaths occurred daring the year.” A Cork newspaper published a report SA N FRANCISCO, C A L. game, fish and fruit in season. Best of an open air political meeting, in 933 M arket S t. CHURCH DIRECTORY which this paragraph appeared: “ Mr. accomodations for the traveling j M. A. Brennan next spoke at lunch length in his nsnal happy style, Lnt RESBYTERIAN CH U RCH , Florence,; public. Charges reasonable. N ot A lw a y s a G ood R a le . from the distance we were wholly un Oregon. S.ihbath service: Sabbath-: “ M y boy,” said the tld gentleman able tocatch the purport o f hisremurks. " •cbool, It) o'clock a. m. Preaching 11 who was trying to impress one of the Even the commissioners of national o'clock a. m. ami 7 p. in. Sacram ent of lessons of life upon his young hopeful, education in Ireland are occasionally the Lord's «upper on 1st Sabbath of ! “ in all the affairs of life dou’t forget subject to this strange hat laughable January, April, July and October. | Everybody is welcome to all tiic services. to aim high. " ooufusion of thought and utterance. lu Pastor request« C hristians to make "Oh, that’s all rig h t,” replied the a parliamentary blue book containing themselves known. boy bitterly, "b ut with my luck the the annual report of the commissioners I. G. K notts , Pastor. chances are t hat after the buttle I would of national education and signed by find that success bad been lying down these august personages the following in tho trenches. I tell yon, dad, those titb it may he read: “ The female teach blind old hit or miss rules dou’t go any ers were instructed in plain cooking. ATTORNEYS more. The thing to do is to aim for They had, lu fact, to go throngb tho what you’re after." process of cooking themselves in tu rn ." Aud that naturally ended the lesson Bat it is among the peasantry os a for the day — Chicago Post. class that the making of balls more widely prevails. A couutry woman G enerous. walking throngb the streets of Lim er Countryman (to dentist)—- I wouldn’t ick caught sight of a small coffin dis pay Dothiug for extra gas. Just yank played as a grewsome trade sign iu an ® u g o rxe , - O re g o n her out if it does hurt. undertaker's shop window. “ Oh, glo 2 f ig lin o m i 7 and 8 McLnren’n Building. Dentist— Yon are plucky, sir. Lot r y ,” she exclaimed, “ is it possible that fP>ciai attention given to collections and pro- me see the tooth. coffin can bo intiuded for any livin cr'a- business. Countryman— Oh, 'taiu’t me that’s ture?” got the toothache. I t ’s my wife. Bhe’ll The owner of a valuable horse was be herein a minute.— Everywhere. very indignant w ith his stable boy for E. O POTTER. having allowed the animal, which he D e c e p tlv . A p p e .r a o r « » . had taken out for a morning trot, to ................. A ttorney-at-Lnw .................. "Appearances are so deceptive, un take bead. EUGENE, OREGON, less one knows how to interpret them.” "T h e riivil a bit o’ me oould shtop NOTARIES. ______ "How , dear?” him. sir, for I had no spars,” was the ’rrtez At the Court Home. “ I can always tell whcD my husband boy's strange excuse.— Spectator. is going to he near w ith his money On III. Ow n H onk . wbeu I ask him for some by his assum E . E . B E N E D IC T , ing a faraway look.’ ’— Cincinnati En "H o w are you, Scroggins? Where q u i r e r . ________________ have yon been for the last year?” A T T O R N E Y - A T - L A W "Conducting an agricultural experi Sb« R ad B e e . R ead taff D o o l« ,. ment station in tbe country. ” "Oh, well, what’s the nse being a Florence. : : Orczou. "Salary annexed to tbe job?" O r e g o n - hero, anyway?” "N o ” ¡« lo r e n o a , "W h y are you discouraged?” "G e t a commission on rales of the “ I t isn’t oumyown account. I heard FRANK B. WILSON- a woman arrayed in costly garments re stuff vou raise?" HOTEL, A Head of Tide Hotel, E. D. BRONSON & CO, P Elk P rairie Hotel. Twentv-three Miles West of Eugene. A. C. WOODCOCK, Attorney a t Law, ON E U G E N E A N D FLORENCE STAGE ROUTE. Money Saved By Patronizing it. Prop. Geo. Hale A. R. BUTTOLPH, Notary Public, Surveyor BO YEARS* EXPERIENCE P atents M»""» Dcarana T rad « ----- COPYRIGHTS A C . •"I'tlns a rtH rh and “ 2 ? r « < -rU ln onr opinion fr » . »fcrtbvr • • « L * '2? '• r ro h .h lr patmteM» fom m M ik»- NOTARY PUBLIC. fer to him as Teddy Rosenfleld yester day.” —Cleveland l*ad«r. noRENO E. - - - Not » ftrlenttet. College Professor— Your father in a wealthy furmer, I understand. He con ducts his farm on scientific principles. I presume? Student— No; he rnns it to rnako money — New York Weekly. n R E fi;,N PATENTS ^•«nrtlroooSiSm rtiu. H.nUbooXon l'«tMt» P ,/’**- aesoey for w m n ns paleo!..- **b*e Uroarh Mann A eo- r v a C * «ofa-a. Il uirut hont cuarge, retar.«, iu in auv th« —mm, » « h Scientific Anttilan. UhostmlM ww»ly. '•"***'.i* . of . n , a H a n t^ j^ m jL J^rmonUaSL C A. SNOW & CO. "No ” “ How do yon moke it profitable, then?” " I don't make it profitable. It has cost me |2 000 in oath to run i t . " " W h y dou’t you throw up tho job?” "C a u ’t you uudirrtaud, confound you? I'v e tieen doing amateur farm ing. " —Chicago Tribune. TV»« D e a r y P a r t. W».TSD—»SVB»*l.rsr«TWOBTIIV F..EOS« I s thia «late t - m «p«»r " « r Ix iH n rm In th e ir .iwn i , ,1 , e r h r mnnlie«. It I- m .ln ly «Jlee «erb ,««r and e v X " **_ ‘:e<l"iti - S"n.J<1e, Mab-r- ml.rv Umilhlf F * Ri-tee-nce. In J b X " a .|f-a Mrwswl ' t.mded riiTelope. Herbert i l m P n - l , . Kept M. Ib irM to D ry G oods F a n c y G oods F u r n is h in g G oods C lo th in g ê Shoes wiiumea. st, A U T H O R IT A T IV E MORRIS I t was a squatter's cabiu on the bor ders of a big swnrnp, and tbe squatter himself sat smoking his pipe as tbe colonel rode up and asked for a drink of wator. One of the h alf dozen c h il dren ran to the swamp w ith a gourd and filled it, bnt the oolouel tnrued away from it aud said: "1 can’t drink that staff; It's fa ll of _ JL young tadpoles.” "Yes, they do seem to be party th ic k ," replied the squatter as he blew a cloud of smoke above his bead. " I should think you’d be afraid to swallow those tbiugs," said tbe colonel. "D o n 't see unthin to be afraid of, sab. Reckon i t ’B worse ou the tadpoles than ou us. Bin drinkin it right along for 20 years, and nobody’s bin hurt y it. ” "T here must be lots of maluria around here." "Mebhe they are. Bah, bnt I haven’t seen one us 1 knows of. Do they w alk or fly?” "M a la ria Is w hat breeds chills aud fever,” explained the colonel. "O h, that's it? Must be ronnd here then, though we a in 't worry iu a n y ." "B u t yon shouldn't live here iu this miasma." “ Liunno what your miasma is, bnt i f ' she tackles this fam ily she’ll git tbe worst of it. We a in 't takin a bluff trom anything.” “ M y frien d ,” continued the oolon«l as he looked around, "d id you over hear AN ANECDOTE THAT CARRIES IT8 of bacteria?” “ Never, sah. Does he w alk or fly?” OWN LESSON. "A n d did you ever hear of a m i crobe?” S h ow « F o r c ib ly H o w th e N a tio n W e a ld "N ever did. Is he on the fight?" M ourn S h o u ld A n y th in * H a p p e n t o th e “ How on earth you can live here, H e r o W h o S h e n e n t t h e B e g in n in g an d contiguous to this pestilential morass, E n d o f t h e W ar. w ith tbe a ir weighted down w ith ma laria, is more than I can understand.” A retired business man of this elty The squatter looked up to the man Who has a reputation among people on horseback for a long minute, as if Who know him for his kindueas of heart puzzling over the words, and then was filled w ith distress the other after- queried: noon when he was approached by tbe " W h a t's ‘ contiguous’ mean?" fi-year-old son of oue of the neighbors " I t means alongside o f." The little fellow was crying bitterly, "A n d what's 'pestilential'?” and tbe kind hearted man lost no time "Sickness and death.” in making iuqniries as to the nature of "A n d w hat’s a 'morass'?" tho ch ild ’s troubles. " A swamp. '* "C om e,” he said, patting the boy's "Look here, stranger,” continned the head, " te ll me a ll about i t W ho h art squatter, as he rose np, knocked the yon?" fire ont of his pipe and looked very "N-n-nobody d id n 't hu-urt m e ," the serious, " I ’ve lived here all my life, sufferer gobbed, "b-b-but Dewey’s dead, and I ’ve seen a thousand people go boo-hoo-hoo-hoo I*' 'long this road, but you are the first "Dew ey dead I Great heavens! T h a t’s critter who has gone at it to upset me terrible. W here’s the newsboy? Dear, aud make me feel discontented aud un dear, dear, dear! I ’m sorry to hear happy. ” th a t!" “ I was simply speaking of the situa Aud forgetting a ll about tbe distress tion, ” explained the colonel. of the child he rushed into the house, "A n d so am 1, sah, and the situation exclaiming to his w ife: are jest this: You’ve come along and "M am m a, Dewey’s dead!" made np faces at my tadpoles, you’ve "M ercy on ns!" tbe lady replied. throwed malaria and miasma at me, “ W here did yon hoar that?" you’ve talked of pestilmce and morass " L ittlo Francis Parker just told me. and microbes, aud yon’ve jest got me so Poor child I H e’s crying at i f his heart riled up that I'm bound to say that i f w ill break. I suppose his father has yon don’t want to ask fnr a ebaw of just brought the news home from down terbacker or wasn’t intendiu to stop town. I wish the boys wonld harry and and talk politics yon’d better be a-git- get out this way w ith their papeys. By tin and keepa-gittin t ill yon git beyond George, thia makes me feel blue! the next turn in the road. Yon may There’s been some treachery, you mark pass a ll rig ht in some parts, hat I'm my words! Dewey is tbe victim of foul dawgoued i f you a in 't twice too par piny Now I'm for w iping the whole ticular fur sicb common folks as we darned Spanish race off the face of the are around y e re t"— 8t. Louis Post-Dis earth. Nothing short of that w ill atone patch. for our loss!" By this tim e the gentleman bad got T b a a k f a l. They were of the irredeemably snob to w alking aronnd in a circle, and his bish type. One of them heaved a sigh w ife felt it to be her duty to do some thing to keep him from breaking down aud remarked: " W h y don’t you go over to the Par " W h a t a pity it is. rieah boy, that tbe Prince of Wales doesn’t live in the kera," she said, "aud find out about it? There may bo some mistake I do hope United Btatesl" "N e ve r mind, old chap. Be thankful it isn't true. " “ Yea I hope so, too," be replied, for w hat you have. It's something to lx» living on the same earth w ith him, mechanically taking his bat us she handed it to him, "b n t 1 am afraid it you know. ” — Washington Star. la I've bad a kind of premonitiou from tbe first that something was going to Cp to Snag. happi-n to Dewey, and I'v e worried a good d- al over tbe delay in .ending help to him, although I haven't said much about IL This completely npsets me It's just as bad hs i f I ’d lost a member of my own fa m ily ." Then he went over to tbe Parkers, littlo Fmncts having in tbe meantime returned home Mrs Parker and her daughter Grace were sitting on the porch making things out of fluffy lace and liueu " W e l l, " the kind hearted man said, " i t a too bud abent Dewey, isn't it?” " Y e s ,” Mrs. Parker answered, "w e feel real bad about him. We bad really become attached to him. ’ “ Hew and wbeu did i t happen?" the Rube Hay— W hat did ycr pot them gentleman asked as be took the chair two straws in tbe loruinade fur? that had beru pushed forward by Miss W aiter— Why, to drink it with. Rube Hay— Gol darn yor lm per deuce, Grace. " H e died this afternoon. 1 guess be becui I cum from the oountry, d 'y er mast have caught cold. Tbe g irl bad take me fu r a sneker?— Vim . the hose out yesterday and .prinkled ou him, nud I think that started i t ." F w edd j*« U t t l . K ffort. The man w ith the kind heart tat "T h is is one I thought up m yself," said Fweddy. "W h e n is a— haw, baw there, looking dumbly at the two ladies for about a minute, after which be — wbeu is a guide not a guide?" Ubolly went iuto a severe mental asked: " W bat do yon mean?" struggle and finally gave it np. " W h y ,” raid M rs Parker, “ tbe lit "W h e n it's a wailwoad guide, ” said tie cbiiken that our m ilkm en brought Fweddy. “ Ho, bo, bol He, h e l” — Chi in from the country for Francis You cago Tribune. never saw it. did you? I t was a dear Too Mark to KaAsrw, little thing Francis railed it Dewey In " I thought I bed Income hardened to honor of the hero <,f Manila. B n t," she parrots." said the middle aged .in g le sighed, “ i t ’s dead, aud Francis has gentleman whose friemls fonud him been crying all the afternoon.” Tbe kind hearted man went home gettiug ready to move, "b u t a woman has moved across tho hall who hit. ono shortly after (hat, aud in answer to bis of tbe infernal b irdstlist.b e has taught w ife . am icus look merely said: " 'Bother fake. ” — Cleveland Leader. to jabber baby talk Cincinnati En quirer. WE DEFY COMPETITION c M urphey , General Agent. Rooms 2 and 4, Shelton Block, 301,86s Vocabulary Terms EUGENE, OREGON. 247 Editors and Specialists A. D. C H A R LTO N , 533 Readers for Quotations Assistant General Passenger Agent. 5000 Illustrations 255 Morrison St. Cor. 3d. P o r t l a n d O r . Cost over $960,000 Appendix of 47,468 Entries IN L in g e r T h e r e M a ch L o n c e r . Cars m »arrivinS a*' Florence the day' Sleeping WE LEAD A n d , J o d g ln g b y th a A d e le , t h e L a tte e G ave t b e F o r m e r , I t W e a ld R a v e B e e a U a h e a tth y F o r t h e B r a v e C a lo a e l to Stage leaves Eugene Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays at G a J DULUTH Board of Trustees THE COLONEL OISOUSTfc’ O THE SQUATTER IN NO SMALL DEGREE. L IN E . EUGENE-FLORENCE COUNTY OFFICERS- O. W. Hurd Win. Kyle L. Christensen M. Morris WAS TOO SCIENTIFIC. G -A R D IN E R S T A G E NO. 24. '"They have given me the heaviest part in tbe new play. *' " You dou’t say? W hat is i t like?" "1 have to catch the big fat leading lady when she faints iu the fourth a c t ” — Philadelphia Evening Bulletin. RESPECTFULLY J : 9c7 or. J . V . K A U F F M A N . HOW WE LOVE DEWEY A ll T k a t W a . L eft. L ittle Vixen— Let's see You've g iv en ap smoking and swearing and b il liards Now, w hat else is there you oould give up? He— Nothing. d~ar—unless I give up yon I— Chicago In te r Ocean. O n ly W a y t o D o I t. " Y o n sw, h ’a this w a y ," l>e M id la explaining tbe sltnution. "There'« no (Spaniard dares haul down the flag we have put up over tbe Philippinea, so they re goiug to try to ooaviuce ns that we ought to do i t ourselves." —Chicago Poet. an u n r e p o r t e o f ig h t . I t I t B v . r C a m e OB, t h o S p a n ia r d * M a r t H a v e ftufltor«<le " W e don't happen t* see nothin In th* papers from th* seat o' w ar 'boat Josiah Wheelock guttin killed er wound ed er Iosin hisselt, dew ye?” asked Unci« H iram H ayloft, lounging Into Seth Parker’s general produce store in Ool- lege Point and leaning against the pork barrel. " W b a t reg'meut? W hy— no reg'ment. W an’t a reg'ment *» *d bev him. H e o w ’d be go? W aal, I a'poeed ! ye a ll knew ’boat that. One o’ th* «11 flredest, darudest, onrionaest things I i ever beerd o*. Josiah’s that big, gawky, slabsidcd, knockkneed, good fu r noth in critter *t works on my place. Least : wise, his w ife works fa r my wife, an Josiah's kind enough t* let her, an Bol locks her wages f a r her. W hen th* w a r broke out, Josiah wanted t* go th* wust way. Jes’ clean looney 'boat it. Wanted t ’ k ill Spanyarda *D rather fcill a Spanyurd any day, he said. *n git a now plug terbaoker. Jes’ looney. Darudest case o’ fire eatin I ever sea. Tried t* enlist, but th ’ rccrootin off’oar wouldn’t bear o’ it. Told Josiah he's chuck fu ll o’ all sorts o' moth holes, aud wouldn’t be wuth shocks in th* army, nohow. Bnt Josiah he pnssiated, an finally th' recrootiu off'eer mya: ’Got a wife? W h u t’d she dew w ith o ol ye?’ says he. ‘ Ob, she'll dew fust rat«,' says Josiah, says be. 'S h e 'll be tickled t* death t* only bev t* support herself, an hev Uncle Sam support me, * eaya k * An at that, th* recrootin off'eer M id e f Josiah showed bis ugly mug ronn th* office agin he'd take the responsibility o’ giviu Josiah an iinytation o* a Span ish shell bnstin In th* rear ranks w ith th ’ toe o' his boot. " B n t Josiah w on 't cared— no« a bit. An his w ife wanted him t* go th* was« way. jes* es Josiah said. T h* local Daughters o’ Somethin er Notber was send in boxes o* fancy grab t* th* sol diers iu Gaby, an Josiah, unbeknownst, got iuto an empty packiu oaae, w ith a peck o’ ham sangwiches aa a jag o’ hard cider, an his w ife nailed h im deown, an ha w ent off t* Cnby tha« way. " T h * boat got in rough water off G a by, an they hed t* throw overboard a lot o’ oasea Thing th at’s passim me ia did Josiah's case g it kept aboard, o r was it pitched ont an washed ashore? E f It got ashore, it lauded on a coast where tbey's a passel o' three-quarter starved Bpanyarda A n ef those feliera ripped off th cover thinkin they was g ittiu a box fa ll o' fast o I s m Yankee grub au didn’t find nothin on'y that humbly cuss Josiah, an ef Josiah, tbirstin fer Spanish goro, come np like a jum piu jack an see hiaself hi th ' m id dle o* a drove o' Sponyards w ith black whiskers — gentlemen, ” impressively concluded Unole Hiram , " y e kin talk o’ Sampson an Sob ley an Sbafter aa Teddy th* Terror all ya'ra a-m ind «*, but I ’ll bet a crooked eb illin t* a sugar cooky that Josiah Wheelock hes bin ia th ’ fiercest m ilita ry acgpgemeot aver fit on Cubisn toil, b'goahl ' — l,« w Y« za Journal. Olv». Msttaa. “ The w ar's over. Isn 't it?" inqalrail tbe rigorous and aggressive partiM u. " I t may ha considered so," replied bis friend. •‘ I ’ve been pretty quiet about my political views, haven't 1?*' " Yus. 1 bod hoped yon bad modified some of your opinions ” " N o , sir. W lieu the w ar eommsaoprl, 1 announced that uiy sympathies weia eulisted w ith the administration. Aud now that tbe w .r is over 1 give nottoa that they've been mnstesed o at,*’— Washington Star. aMDorw. A shadow flitted across her fare: tears gatheted iu her «yes. “ It's positively wicked in m s ," she exclaimed, " to be purchasing so maoh costly experience tor myself when dear Alfred does so used a new straw half"’ W ith that she rose hurriedly and left the auotiou, although at tbe mo ment there w a. bciug offered for sal« a chair worth AO ceuta and the high sat bid but 810.— Detroit Journal. «■•w l»A s. Is Pawaa '* Era, Archer, yer saddle's bua wrong way. ’* " W e ll, an 'owdger know wkleb l*u golg. skr*—Punoh. w. «he